Shane Walsh Quotes

Days Gone Bye” (1.01)
Rick Grimes:  [in the squad car over lunch] What’s the difference between men and women?
Shane Walsh:   This a joke?
Rick Grimes:   No, serious.
Shane Walsh:   Never met a woman who knew how to turn off a light. They’re born thinkin’ the switch only goes one way: on. I mean, they’re, they’re struck blind the second they leave a room. I mean every woman, I ever let have a key, I swear to God. It’s like, come home, house all lit up, and my job, you see, apparently, because, because my chromosomes happen to be different is that I gotta walk through that house and turn off every single light this chick left on.
Rick Grimes:   Is that right?
Shane Walsh:   Yeah, baby. Oh Reverend Shane is preachin’ to ya now, boy. Then this same chick, mind ya, she’ll bitch about, uh, global warming. You see, this is, this is where Reverend Shane wants to quote from the Guy Gospel and say, “Um, darlin’, maybe if you and every other pair of boobs on this planet could just figure out that the light switch, see, goes both ways, maybe we wouldn’t have so much global warming?”
Rick Grimes:   You say that?
Shane Walsh:   Well, the uh, polite version. Still, man, that-that earns me this look of loathing you would not believe and that’s when the “Exorcist” voice pops out:
[deeper voice]
Shane Walsh:   “You sound just like my damn father! Always, always yellin’ about the power bill and tellin’ me to turn off the damn lights!”
Rick Grimes:   And what do you say to that?
Shane Walsh:   I know what I want to say. I want to say “Bitch, you mean to tell me you’ve been hearing this your entire life and you are still too damn stupid to learn how to turn off a switch?”
Shane Walsh:   You know, I don’t actually say that, though.
Rick Grimes:  [laughing] That would be bad.
Shane Walsh:   Yeah, I go with the uh, go with the polite version there too, so…
Rick Grimes:   Very wise.
Shane Walsh:   Yes sir. So how’s it with Lori, man?
Rick Grimes:   She’s good. She’s good at turning off lights. Really good. I’m the one who sometimes forgets.
Shane Walsh:   Not what I meant.
Rick Grimes:  [hesitantly] We didn’t have a great night.
Shane Walsh:   Hey look, man, I may have, uh, failed to amuse with my sermon, but I did try. The least you could do is, is speak.
Rick Grimes:   That-that’s what she always says: “Speak”. “Speak”. You’d think I was the most closed mouth son of a bitch you’d ever hear her telling.
Shane Walsh:   Do you express your thoughts? Do you share your feelings and that kind of stuff?
Rick Grimes:   The thing is, lately, whenever I try, everything I say makes her impatient like she didn’t want to hear it after all. It’s like she’s pissed at me all the time, and I don’t know why.
Shane Walsh:   Look man, that’s just shit couples go through. You know, it’s, it’s a phase.
Rick Grimes:   Last thing she said this morning? “Sometimes I wonder if you even care about us at all.” She said that in front of our kid; imagine going to school with that in your head. Difference between men and women? I would never say something that cruel to her, and certainly not in front of Carl.

Days Gone Bye” (1.01)
Lam Kendal:  [in the middle of a police chase] Sounds like they’re chasing those idiots up and down every back road we got.
Leon Basset:   Maybe we’ll get them on one of those video shows, you know, like “World’s Craziest Police Chases”, what do you think?
Rick Grimes:   What I think, Leon, is that you need to stay focused. Make sure you got a round in the chamber and your safety off.
Shane Walsh:  [Leon realizes he didn’t do that and corrects his mistake] Would be kind of cool to get on one of them shows.

“Tell It To The Frogs” (1.03)
Shane Walsh:  [Rick is leaving the camp to save Merle] Well look, I-Idon’t, okay Rick, so could you just-could you throw me a bone here, man? Could you just tell me why: why would you risk your life for a douchebag like Merle Dixon?
Daryl Dixon:   Hey, choose your words more carefully.
Shane Walsh:   Oh no, I did. Douchebag’s what I meant.
Shane Walsh:   Merle Dixon: guy wouldn’t give you a glass of water if you were dyin’ of thirst.
Rick Grimes:   What he would or wouldn’t do doesn’t interest me: *I* can’t let a man die of thirst, me: thirst, and exposure. We left him like an animal caught in a trap, that’s no way for anything to die, let alone a human being.

“Tell It To The Frogs” (1.03)
Shane Walsh:  [about eating frog legs] When you get down to that last can of beans, you’re gonna be loving those frog legs, lady. I can see it now…
[imitating Lori]
Shane Walsh:   “Shane, do you think I could have a second helping, please? Please? Just one?”
Lori Grimes:   Yeah, I doubt that.
Shane Walsh:  [to Carl] Don’t listen to her, man. You and me, we’ll be heroes. We’ll feed these folks Cajun-style Kermit legs.
Lori Grimes:   I would rather eat Miss Piggy. Yes, that came out wrong.

“Tell It To The Frogs” (1.03)
Shane Walsh:   So now you’re gonna risk three men?
T-Dog:   Four.
Daryl Dixon:   My day just gets better and better.
T-Dog:   You see anybody else here stepping up, to save your brother’s cracker ass?
Daryl Dixon:   Why you?
T-Dog:   You wouldn’t even begin to understand. You don’t speak my language.

“Vatos” (1.04)
Shane Walsh:   Jim, nobody is gonna hurt you, okay?
Jim:   That’s a lie. That’s the biggest lie there is. I told that to my wife and my two boys. I said it 100 times. It didn’t matter. They came out of nowhere. There were dozens of them. Just pulled ’em out of my hands. You know, the only reason I got away was ’cause the dead were too busy eating my family.

“TS-19” (1.06)
Dr. Edwin Jenner:   You *do* want this. Last night you said you knew it was just a matter of time before everybody you loved was dead.
Shane Walsh:   What? You really said that? After all your big talk?
Rick Grimes:   I had to keep hope alive, didn’t I?
Dr. Edwin Jenner:   There is no hope. There never was.
Rick Grimes:   There’s always hope. Maybe it won’t you, maybe not be here. But somebody somewhere…
Andrea:   What part of “everything is gone” do you not understand?
Dr. Edwin Jenner:   Listen to your friend. She gets it. This is what takes us down. This is our extinction event.
Carol Peletier:   This isn’t right. You can’t just keep us here.
Dr. Edwin Jenner:   One tiny moment – a millisecond. No pain.
Carol Peletier:   My daughter doesn’t deserve to die.
Dr. Edwin Jenner:   Wouldn’t it be kinder, to be more compassionate to just hold your loved ones and wait for the clock to run down?

“Secrets” (2.06)
Dale Horvath:  [referring to Otis] You’ve been vague about that night about what happened.
Shane Walsh:   Otis died a hero.
Dale Horvath:   So you’ve said.
Shane Walsh:   A little boy lived because of what went down that night. I think you oughta show some gratitude.
Dale Horvath:   I wasn’t there.
Shane Walsh:   No man, you weren’t.
Dale Horvath:   But I was the time you raised your gun on Rick. You had him in your sights… and you held him there. I know what kind of man you are.
Shane Walsh:   You think I’d shoot Rick? That is my best friend. That’s the man that I love, I love him like he’s my brother. You think that’s the kind of man I am?
Dale Horvath:   That’s right.
Shane Walsh:  [menacingly] Well maybe we oughta just think that through. See, if I’m the kind of man that would gun down his own best friend, what’d you think I do to some guy I don’t even like when he starts throwing accusations my way. What’d you think?
[Shane walks away, and Dale’s face shows he gets the point]

“Pretty Much Dead Already” (2.07)
Shane Walsh:   Dale, shut up. Just shut up and give me the guns.
Dale Horvath:   Am I gonna have to shoot you? Do I have to kill you? Is that what it’s gonna take?
Shane Walsh:   Eh. Yeah. That’s what it’s gonna take.

“Pretty Much Dead Already” (2.07)
Dale Horvath:   This is where you belong, Shane.
Shane Walsh:   How’s that, Dale?
Dale Horvath:   This world, what it is now, this is where you belong. And I may not have what it takes to last for long, but that’s okay. ‘Cause at least I can say when the world goes to shit, I didn’t let it take me down with it.
Shane Walsh:   Fair enough.

“Pretty Much Dead Already” (2.07)
Shane Walsh:   These things ain’t sick. They’re not people. They’re dead. Ain’t gonna feel nothing for them ’cause all they do, they kill! These things right here, they’re the things that killed Amy. They killed Otis. They’re gonna kill all of us.
[pulls out gun]
Shane Walsh:   Hey, Hershel, man, let me ask you something. Can a living breathing person, could they walk away from this?
[shoots walker in its chest]
Rick Grimes:   No! Stop it!
Shane Walsh:   That’s three rounds in the chest. Could someone who’s alive, can they just take that? Why is it still coming?
[shoots walker in its chest again]
Shane Walsh:   That’s its heart, its lungs. Why is it still coming?
[shoots it again]
Rick Grimes:   Shane, enough!
Shane Walsh:   Yeah, you’re right, man. That is enough.
[shoots walker in the head, killing it]

“Pretty Much Dead Already” (2.07)
Shane Walsh:   Hell man, if you think about it, in the cold light of day, you are pretty much dead already.

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